Sealing The Border - The Game

Texas Governor Rick Perry has a great idea. He revealed it to a group of border county sheriffs last Thursday.

He wants to place hundreds of surveillance cameras along the Rio Grande. The images would then be streamed on to the Internet so computer users could become virtual border patrollers. Upon spotting border incursions, participants could call a toll free number and report the violations to Texas authorities.

Great idea, Governor Perry!

But I’ve got some enhancements …

Let’s turn this idea into an immense nationwide video game. We’ll call it “Zap the Wetback.” Imagine hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions, manning their PC’s and Mac’s to defend the Texas border. The illegal aliens wouldn’t have a chance!

To score points players would maneuver their joystick crosshairs over an invader and then “zap” a targeted offender. That would trigger a satellite image to a central monitoring station, dispatching authorities to make arrests.

The scoring system would be as follows:

Coyotes -- 2,000 points

Females of childbearing age -- 500 points

Males -- 100 points

Point system rationale;

Coyotes have the ability to bring hundreds if not thousands of illegals across the border. Eliminating a coyote has the potential of dramatically decreasing the flow.

Females of childbearing age have the potential of producing four to five new mouths to suckle from the welfare sow.

Males, well … there are just so many of them …

Special Bonus Scoring;

10,000 points -- Blasting a drug tunnel

15,000 points -- Zapping Mexican troops assisting drug cartels

Yes, I can see it now. “Zap the Wetback” will become the new nationwide phenomenon. It will replace poker and Texas Hold’em as the most preferred on-line game activity. It will spawn a new reality TV series that will rival “American Idol.”

See, all we needed to solve our border problem was Governor Perry’s great idea … and a little American ingenuity.

In other border-related News …

Border Patrol Getting Bigger than FBI

With a proposed major expansion, the Border Patrol may soon overtake the F.B.I. as the largest federal law enforcement agency. The agency has swelled to more than 11,000 agents from 4,000 15 years ago, with 6,000 more proposed by President Bush by 2008.

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